can you really choose to be straight or gay or bi?

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Permalink Reply by cookie on December 14, 2009 at 4:01pm

Its a shame families never learn to understand that the person whose lifestyle may differ but they are still the same person they know and love. But you know,give them time. My mom sent me to a therapist when I was like 13 and that therapist said I was going through a phase and not to worry. Well, I never stopped my "phase",lol..I'm 56 now and still a lesbian. Just be happy, thats what matters :)

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Permalink Reply by Jill on December 15, 2009 at 1:51am

Hi Cookie, thankz a lot! I'll remember this. :-D

cookie cohen said:

Its a shame families never learn to understand that the person whose lifestyle may differ but they are still the same person they know and love. But you know,give them time. My mom sent me to a therapist when I was like 13 and that therapist said I was going through a phase and not to worry. Well, I never stopped my "phase",lol..I'm 56 now and still a lesbian. Just be happy, thats what matters :)

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Permalink Reply by Angie B on December 15, 2009 at 4:24am

NO. Even for those who admitted to being gay later in life it's NO. I was with a man for 8 years because I wanted to do what my family expected. The whole time we were together I dreamed of women, admired women and wanted to be with women. I knew when I was 13 I was a lesbian but how do you tell your family that. Instead I hid behind doors and did what is considered "normal". It was a horrible and miserable life untill I came to terms that my feelings will never been for me like they are for women. I men how can you be with a man for 8 years and not have sex for 98% of that time. When we did do it I layed there and felt used and disgusted. So in my opinion the answer is NO. I am, have & will always be emotionally, spiritually and physically connected to women.

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Permalink Reply by Jill on December 15, 2009 at 4:35pm

Angie, thankz so much for this. I haven't come out to my family yet, but I will never try to do things that conforms our tradition if it means taking away the self that is mine. thankz so much!

Angie B said:

NO. Even for those who admitted to being gay later in life it's NO. I was with a man for 8 years because I wanted to do what my family expected. The whole time we were together I dreamed of women, admired women and wanted to be with women. I knew when I was 13 I was a lesbian but how do you tell your family that. Instead I hid behind doors and did what is considered "normal". It was a horrible and miserable life untill I came to terms that my feelings will never been for me like they are for women. I men how can you be with a man for 8 years and not have sex for 98% of that time. When we did do it I layed there and felt used and disgusted. So in my opinion the answer is NO. I am, have & will always be emotionally, spiritually and physically connected to women.

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Permalink Reply by ReinaWilliams on January 22, 2010 at 9:31am

I will say this. you CHOOSE who to sleep with. but NOT who you have feelings for. sex is not the determiner of emotional preference. like Jesica said. follow your heart. if your cousin wants to judge you for your choices, that HER CHOICE. its an unfortunate one but there really is no wrong or right. just fear or love. and clearly her CHOICE is not made out of love for you when she uses words like DESPISE.


Peace ~

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Permalink Reply by Stevi Gonzales on February 15, 2010 at 4:03pm

I would have to agree with most the people that have replied to your post... You can't choose to be something your not. It would be like asking a white man/woman to choose to be african america, or mexican, or even asian. It's not something anyone can change you have feelings... and honestly if people can't just listen and allow them selves to be open minded about who you love or who you are attracted to then it's their feelings...which also Sadly to say we cannot change...
Be proud of who you are, and as to those who don't agree don't let them tell you, preach to you, etc... what you should and/or should not be!!!
Live on... Live Proud!!!
Stevi

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Permalink Reply by Lesbian Movies on May 6, 2010 at 2:56pm

Choose to be gay or lesbian or Bi. That just gets me a little angry. I suppose living here it's easy to think being lesbian or Bi is a lifestyle choice
But if you think a little laterally about lesbians in the third world. They are despised, attacked, in some places subjected to corrective rape.... I really do not think that makes for a lifestyle choice do you?

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