My Dear Santa Letter . . . post yours here, too!

When I was little, I never believed in Santa even though I loved watching Christmas cartoons about him! I never wrote a letter to Santa and I never took a trip to mall so I could sit on Santa's lap. This year, I plan to take my very first picture with Santa! I'll post it here when I do. Here's my very first letter to Santa.

Dear Santa:
I've been a pretty good girl tried hard to be good this year and, if you know me, you know that my effort should count for something. I pissed off only half of the people I normally piss off, and I've been extra patient with my teenagers. Since I think I did a pretty good job of behaving myself this year, I thought I'd ask for a few a lot of stuff.

I would love to have a brand new Acer laptop so I can give it to my kids and they can stop using my computer and going to shitty web sites and infecting my laptop with all kinds of nasty things.

A huge flatscreen TV would be great. That will allow me to watch re-runs of Charmed like the Princess I am.

A new newer car would make me so happy, preferably one without a crack in the windshield - and no coolant leak!

If you could send me a personal trainer, that would be awesome! And if you could make her tall, dark, beautiful and great in bed, that would be even better.

A Bitch-Be-Gone Zapper would really come in handy. I've looked everywhere and I can't seem to find one anywhere. It must be a hot item this year.

A Blackberry Storm would look nice in my cell phone holster. That damn thing is great! I know you have one already so you know what I'm talkin' about!

A lifetime supply of lint brushes would make my life so much easier. I wear a lot of black so I spend a lot of money on lint brushes. With the economy the way it is, if you could buy me a lifetime supply that would be da bomb!

A free personal chef . . . if you can combine the personal chef with the personal trainer, I would be forever grateful. Plus, it would be easier on you if just combine the two people into one person.

A litter box that never stinks and cleans itself - every half hour! I love cats and I fear I'll be the single old lady on the corner with a house full of cats. If you could help me out with this fantastic self-cleaning litter box, my future neighbors will love you forever.

Happy Pills that allow me to ignore stupid and annoying people. Make sure those Happy Pills don't make me pop positive on any future drug screens, ok? That'll be great.

A lifetime supply of marijuanna that's untraceable in your blood or hair. Holy.Shit. Do you know how much money I could make selling that stuff around here?

And last but not least, I wish for world peace . . . cuz I don't wanna seem too selfish.

Love,
Genia